Where Kerry becomes bulletproof

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I had a funny driving experience on the way to the track recently; I just have to laugh about it with you.

I had just pulled out of a no-name racers motel towards the racetrack and the light was red, so I pulled into the empty left lane to get a good start when it turned green. Some idiot races up behind me, whips around me, and swerves in front of me to jockey for the front position. I laugh, hey, I’m on my way to the track, but he’s hot, and furious that I would take “his” lane. When the light turns green, he starts, slams on his brakes, starts again, slams, starts, slams. I patiently hang out behind him laughing at his game, I don’t know why, I just felt really tolerant that morning. He gets so furious he throws his car into park and stalks back to my Jeep red-faced and with his hands on his hips. Traffic is swerving around us.

I compliantly roll my window down part-way to better hear his vitriol. Folks, you know how so many times you think of the good line only long AFTER a bad experience? For some reason I was just ON that morning! After exchanging a few mutual unpleasantries I demanded to know if he was on his way to the racetrack. He sneered “what business would that be of yours?” and I said “because you’re driving like you’re on one!” He’s getting madder and madder now, so I go for the kill. I said to him, “well I’m an instructor, and you’re… an AMATEUR! An AMATEUR! You don’t drive like that on public roads!”

We exchange another round of mutually affectionate “you’re a b**ch!” and “you’re an A**!” and he looks behind us and suddenly turns and whips back to his car—there’s a cop right behind me! I frantically wave the cop up beside me and said to him, “that guy road raged me! He slammed to a stop ahead of me and jumped out to yell at me! Didn’t you see him standing next to my window yelling?” He replied yes and I said “He thought I was… driving too slow or something. Well there he goes.” The cop took off after him and trailed him for an agonizing half mile or so and then pulled him over. Like I was going to drive TOO SLOW!

What JUSTICE!! It was on cue, just like in a movie or something. I know I shouldn’t have continued to provoke him, but you just can’t drive like that on public roads where you ARE surrounded by amateurs. That’s why we have the track, to get that out of our system. I am glad that I kept him hanging around long enough for the cop to catch him, but now I have to wonder why I was feeling so bullet-proof that morning. I guess it was that new set of Kumho race tires I had waiting for me on my car at the track. But that’s another story!